


What L and Matsuda Talk About

by StrawberrySpring



Category: Death Note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 12:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10020977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberrySpring/pseuds/StrawberrySpring
Summary: L and Matsuda compare the Task Force to celebrities.Written for the second Secret Shinigami Exchange.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn’t figure out a good reason for L and Matsuda to talk about celebrities (which was the prompt) apart from this so here you are. The celebrities mentioned are NOT from 2007 because a) I have no idea what was going on in 2007, so the timeline is not very uh, accurate and b) all of them are American, save one, because I am not aware of any Japanese ones.

L scowled at the computer screen. Twenty minutes ago he had asked Matsuda to make himself useful and bring him coffee. The man was nowhere to be found. 

‘What’s bothering you?’ Light asked, glancing at him. 

‘Why, Light-kun, is something bothering you? Is Kira’s plan not going well enough?’ L shot back. It was wholly unnecessary, but he was bored and it was no secret that he liked riling Light up. 

Light, to his credit, refused to rise to the bait. ‘He probably fell asleep on his way back from the kitchen. No one’s getting enough sleep these days, thanks to you.’

L bristled. ‘Thanks to Kira, you mean?’ he said pointedly. Light rolled his eyes. 'I’m going to the toilet and maybe I’ll find him snoozing in the corridor on the way.’

 

Matsuda was not, actually, snoozing in the corridor. He was sitting on the bathroom counter, deeply absorbed in his phone. So absorbed, in fact, that he didn’t realize who was peeping over his shoulder till L spoke in his ear. 

'Matsuda, you idiot.’ 

Matsuda jumped so badly he almost dropped his phone. He looked around, terrified and found L’s face inches from his, his eyes boring into his face. 

'Where’s my coffee, Matsuda?’ L enquired. At some level, he did enjoy terrifying the poor guy, but mostly, his incompetence was just annoying. 

'I was on my way to the kitchen, I swear! But then Misa-Misa sent me this message-’

'Is this pertinent to the Kira investigation?’ 

'Well, no, but-’

'Then I want you back in the room with my coffee in five minutes’, L turned to leave, before Matsuda spoke, sounding hesitant. 'It’s actually about Light.’

L stopped. 'What about Light-kun?’ Did Misa accidentally confessed something? 

'Well’, Matsuda shoved his phone under L’s nose.

L stared at the screen. 'Matsuda, what does Zac Efron have to do with Light Yagami?’ 

'Zac Efron!’ Matsuda exclaimed. 'That’s his name! I forgot! Misa-Misa thinks Light looks like him, and I just don’t see the resemblance, honestly.’

L looked dumbstruck. For a moment, Matsuda wondered if L would hit him. Then L snatched the phone away from him.   
'It’s the hair.’

'Huh?’ Matsuda asked stupidly.

'It’s the hair, the bangs covering his forehead’, L muttered. 'Of course Misa-Misa thinks he looks like Zac Efron, he’s very…attractive. Light-kun, on the other hand, not so much’, L said, opening the browser on Matsuda’s phone like it was his own. 

'You don’t think Light-kun is attractive?’ Matsuda looked surprised. 

'I have seen better’, L said dismissively. 'Actually, Light-kun looks more like…this guy’, he said, pointing at the screen. 

Matsuda gasped in surprise. 'He so does! I love his songs…we should show him!’ 

L smirked. 'Yes, we should. And, oh I see, it’s not just Light, you compared the rest of the task force too…’ 

Matsuda sputtered. 'Oh well-um, we were just-, can I have my phone back L? Please?’ He asked, trying to snatch his phone from L’s hands who quickly turned, putting it out of his reach. 

'Misa thinks Soichiro looks like Tom Selleck?’ L almost laughed out loud. Well, the moustache certainly was impressive.

'That was actually me- please don’t tell him, L!’

'Hmm, we’ll see about that. And who does Misa-Misa think she looks like?’

'Melanie Martinez. I see it.’

'Interesting…Misa reminds me of Harley Quinn, personally’, L mumbled, biting his thumb. 

'I said the same! It made her angry for some reason, maybe because I said it would make Light the Joker, ha!’ Matsuda laughed, but stopped, looking unsure as L looked at him steadily.

'Not bad, Matsuda’, L said, after a short pause. Matsuda glowed fom the praise. 'That smile does look very forced at times…’

'Uh, I wouldn’t say that about Light…’ Matsuda looked hesitant again. 'Wait, who do you think Mogi resembles? Misa said Idris Elba but I am not convinced…’  
'Zachary Levi’, L piped in, showing him a picture. 

'Huht’, Matsuda considered the picture. 'Misa Misa thinks this guy looks like me, but I just don’t see it.’ 

'Goki Maeda?’ L held up the phone beside Matsuda’s face. 'Hmm…yep, he looks exactly like you. If they ever make a TV drama about the Kira investigation, he’d be the first choice to play you.’

'Really?’ Matsuda looked offended. L rolled his eyes. 'So…Aizawa?’ 

'Er…I don’t know, don’t tell him because I don’t know how he’d react but he totally looks like John Legend to me.’ 

L blinked. 'He…actually does….what have you done, Matsuda…’ Matsuda bounced on the counter excitedly. 'Right? Misa Misa also agrees!’ L nodded slowly in agreement. 

'Hey, do you want to see who Misa Misa thinks Watari looks like?’ Matsuda exclaimed, taking his phone back. 'The butler from the Batman movies!’

L snatched the phone back. 'He does indeed’, L said in an expression resembling awe. 'Hmm, I’m honestly flattered Matsuda, that would make me -’ Before Matsuda could stop him ('Um, wait - L-’) , he swiped his finger across the screen. 

There was a long, uncomfortable silence, during which Matsuda prayed to every god imaginable. 

'Matsuda’, L spoke quietly. 'Does Misa Misa think I look like Kermit the Frog?’ 

Matsuda didn’t know why he spoke up. 'That’s actually…not…Misa Misa…’ 

There was another long, even more uncomfortable silence, during which Matsuda wished he could glue his mouth shut. 

'Get back to work, Matsuda. And your phone is confiscated.’ 

Matsuda groaned as L left the washroom, scowling.

 

'You look even more pissed than you did before’, Light commented lightly, as L came back to his seat. L said nothing as he crouched on the chair. Then he cleared his throat. 

'Matsuda thinks you look like The Joker.’

**Author's Note:**

> The Kermit comparison was actually Light’s doing. Poor L being made to think he is Batman when actually everyone just thinks he is a frog. Also Misa think Mogi is super hot, hence Idris Elba.


End file.
